Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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