I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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