Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
