question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
