i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
