Im at strip club and am horny
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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