Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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