I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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