just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
