she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
