I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize