i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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