I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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