First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize