i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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