What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
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On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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