im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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