ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
