dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
