i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I came so hard my ears popped.
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