he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
