I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
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would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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