The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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