I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
