I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize