If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her