Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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