So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
