I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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