you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
