Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You ruined the universe
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize