i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had sex on a roof
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
