I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
