careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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