Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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