Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
