Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
