next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
