hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
