So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize