Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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