we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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