People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
