Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
