I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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