First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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