I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
