the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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