Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
