FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
