it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
