i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we made out on top of his cat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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