im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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