I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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