So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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