there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
