I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Found the puke drawer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
this is an emotional support booty call
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
