She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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