You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
