I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
