It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
