just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
