do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
