Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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