I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
