Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
