Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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