sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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