(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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