Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
