According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
