I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
