I just saw a hot homeless man
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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